Thursday, April 24, 2014
LUCKY YOU AND ME
Prince Charles' brother-in-law fell down and banged his head and then died in front of the American DIAMOND-HORSESHOE CLUB on the same day that I watched THE AVENGERS' classic Fourth of July episode about the assassination of some major British V.I.P. By a couple of crazy newlyweds on a KINGS CROSS station train who had the traditional lucky horseshoe hanging on their private cabin window. ~ ~ Then there was that huge gas plant explosion in Opal, Wyoming that represented that black [Obama] opal that Amber Heard was wearing when I sat down at her diner car table in NORTH BY NORTHWEST. Since it was in Lincoln County's Hams [dinner] Fork location due north of Evanson, Wyoming. Where my French ex-wife and I spent our honeymoon night. ~ ~ Based on the same future idea that was featured in MR. BEAN'S VACATION; wherein my hot French Keira Knightley wife finally gives me a ride down to Cannes in her British MELLOW YELLOW mini mouse car. But not until after that huge metaphoric A-bomb explosion happens. ~ ~ First things first, of course. ~ ~ Marital sex is very nice. However it is only the frosting on the cake. ~ ~ You have to bake the cake first. ~ ~ GSR/TWN ~ ~ PS BRAD PITT: This one is on the house. In you first star turn-around role on the flip side in THE BIG LEWBOWSKI: II, you show up at my CITIZEN KANE type mansion wearing your trademark short Nazi haircut. Where you encounter yours truly sitting behind a huge oak desk who looks like some filthy nouveau rich long hair Orson Welles wanna-be who had just purchased the historic Hearst estate off of Hwy.1; just for the shits and giggles. ~ ~ Think Mel Gibson is not quite ready for the full sex cult polygamist mormon experience. Therefore, I AM is forced to find another place that I can convert into an Endowment House of the Lord. Where the teenage virgins are hot, and the men in their 60s are already starting to look like they are in their late 40s; Cary Grant style. ~ ~ Look at it this way. It is going to take more than one of those blood cleansing castles on a hill in BRIDES OF DRACULA meets TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000 to take care of all of the cast members in Jennifer Aniston's FRIENDS WITH MONEY prophecy. ~ ~ PS BARTON FINK ET AL: Please feel free to rip off any of my inspired screenplay concepts. ~ ~ No really. I mean it. ~ ~ That's what they are there for. Salvation is free in Jesus, etc. ~ ~ As if I needed the money or the credit anyway. ~ ~ Just don't forget that I gave you my business card at the SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL back in the 80s, suggesting that the time might come in the future when you need a few new script ideas. ~ ~ PRODUCER, WRITER, DIRECTOR, STAR NOTES: In the two first sequel/remake/prequels of THE BIG LEWBOWSKI, the longhair Jesus gun-nut figure is the right-winger. And the short-hair macho Nazi homo is the left-winger, if you get my drift. ~ ~ PS SPIELBERG: Doesn't matter if Justin Bieber is the next major Holliwood movie star or not. Just put up the money for him playing the lead role in David Lynch's next surreal Hollywood movie and shut the fuck up.