THE SCHIZ CAN HAPPEN FOR A CRAZY REASON SOMETIMES.

The USS JOHN MCCAIN bears no.56 on it's bow because the heroic John McCain had just rescued the abomination of desolation that was the crowning achievement of the White Horse Prophecy given to Joseph Smith on 5.6. ~ Wherein both the Republican Party and the Democrat Party get shit canned and replaced with the INDEPENDENT AMERICAN PARTY. ~ No really. ~ Right now as you read this, the American USS AMERICA is engaged in a search and rescue operation to find those missing ten virgin sailors in HAIL CAESAR meets BARTON FINK, at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hail,_Caesar! ~ GSR/TWN ~ HOME REMEDY RECIPE: Feeling a little constipated lately? ~ Both physically and psycho politically? ~ Stir fry a cup of chopped onion and a half cup of fresh chopped whole garlic in olive oil until it is thoroughly cooked. ~ Then pour into the pan a half pint of cream and put a lid on it. ~ When the cream starts to thicken up, throw in the sea salt, pepper, and an entire stem of fresh grown basil leaves. ~ At the same time, drop into the reduction at least 6 oz. of smoked raw cured sockeye salmon bits and pieces. ~ Meanwhile, when your favorite pasta finally achieves full dente, dump that into the mix too; and prepare to die with a yuuge smile on your face. ~ That is when you run to the toilet and it all comes out your butt in one quick flush. ~ Since I meself has never eaten a slice of raw cured Red Lake salmon that didn't have a slight amount of salmonella poisoning on it. ~ Yet I keep going back for more of it again and again. ~ "I'm society's X-LAX pill." Howard Stern. 1993-96. ~ ALSO: "Baked Olympic oysters give you the shits that you can squirt through the eye of a needle." Leslie Winn, circa 1996. ~ PS WILL FERRELL: Several lazy crazy summer afternoons ago, I dreamed that you showed up uninvited at one of my own private D&C 58 parties at the Scottish castle PLAYBOY MANSION in LA, circa 2018. ~ A.K.A. the west coast White House. ~ Sporting your other look alike 29ish Swedish film actress wife Rebecca Romijn by your side. ~ Oh yeah, anything to get the party started is what I always say. ~