Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I AM THE ONLY 1 WHO COULD EVER SATISFY LINDSY LOHAN

My 'progenitor' word on the prophetic 1290 days desk top calendar in ALFIE, who is the English grandson of THE WORD in JOHNNY WALKER 1:1 meets 2006's THE WALKER in the 66-book Bible that was published by a bunch of old pagan fucks circa 390 AD, means LL belongs to me and nobody else.

Irresponsible and immature little spoiled girls who are chronically late to everything all the time because they crave the attention do so because there is no one out there who is man enough to take care of them in bed and in church.

Which is why Jesus told me at 6:46 am Tuesday morning that, "Jen and Justin split up!"

Usually when I hear something like that from G-d it means that the news is about to break about the two hipsters getting married somewhere on a private beach, Renee Zelwegger style meets Megan Fox style, for a prelude to the eventual breakup of Kate Holmes and Tom Cruise.

LL's new PLAYBOY pictorial is about the kind of underaged women that Hef is always hound dogging two at a time in BEVERLY HILLS COP whatever meets THE EXPENDABLES 2. That is if the born again KICK ASS 2 action movie was directed by David Lynch with a host of horny teenage babe co-stars with missing-in-action daddy issues.

This is why the 85ish Heffer is always fucking a nice brace of hot young blonds who are relatively even younger than my own virgin blonds. Like the 15ish one who just got shot in the head in Pennsylvania by a huge .50 slug from a civil war era black powder deer hunter's rifle. Right before Mr Huntsman was due to appear on Letterman. And my hot Canadian Girl Scout wives are beginning to feel like they have just died and gone to heaven.

"Heaven is a place on earth..." [Lana Del Rey]

GSR/TWN

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