Monday, May 26, 2014

NO CRY BABIES

The reason why a CRY-BABY remake, co-starring the Beaver's Believers and Lady Gaga, is so important right now is because today's Christian Mormon squares still do not believe or understand that the original 1990 movie's bad boy 'Drapes' represented the temple veils in that LOVE SHACK prophecy by THE B-52s. ~ ~ Wherein the sex cult film's older "Smut King' eventually turns into my heroic Cry-Baby King. Who was born in the back seat of Granny Grass' CADILLAC, like they sing about in THE CLASH's album entitled LONDON CALLING. ~ ~ What? You still are not a believer? Even though you can clearly see Allison Roth, Emma Watson, and Juliet Lewis in the audience? ~ ~ No one is more blind or deaf than he who will not see or hear. ~ ~ Hence that surprise 3-way triangle ring-a-ding orgasm cue at the end of the film's prophetic performance that represents Rusty's hearing aid specialists; who keep testing his ring tones etc. In order to restore a measure of his 1260 days hearing that he had back around 1993-1996. ~ ~ GSR/TWN ~ ~ TEENAGER MOVIE NOTES: If Chloe Moretz can lip-sync sing pretty good, I would cast her in the role of Allison in the CRY-BABY remake. If they can't get her, and want to go for something ever more kinky, I would go ahead and cast Ariana Grande. Not only can she sing for real, but she is finally starting to look almost old enough to play the original virgin high school girl role. ~ ~ Plus, you could probably get Ms. Grande for union scale minimum wages; if the back end deal is right. ~ ~ Whatever. Remember, it's a John Waters movie. So bad campy acting and bad campy lip syncing is only a plus. ~ ~ PRODUCER NOTES: If we can get Chloe to play the part where yours truly finally gets to feel her up, why not go with Rihanna for the 1950s Negro music voice-overs?

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